tanning bed etiquette...

top 12 things NOT to do at a tanning salon...

1. Do not take a minute long drag off of your cigarette and then come blow it in my face...
2. I know you get bored laying there for 15 minutes, but don't pass the time by picking your nose and wiping them on the bed...it cooks them on and your lotion does not work as well as PAM...
3. Do not stand on the beds and look over at nakie women...cash your ten in for some ones and go to the strip club...
4. Don't snort cocaine in your car in front of the store and come wipe your leftovers onto my counter...we don't do drugs...
5. Do not bring your dog in and expect us to let you fry its little doggie eyes out while you tan...
6. Do not bring your bike into the store and proceed to tell us that your babies momma stole your car and will come looking for your bike next...and then ask us to let you tan for free...seriously...we do not watch bikes, we tan people...
7. Do not bring your three children in strollers and happy meals and tan for 15 minutes...the meal might make them happy for three minutes...but did you forget about the other 12 minutes that they are screaming for you...leaving your three children does not make us happy...
8. Do not sing at the top of your lungs while you are in your bed...that's what your shower is for
9. Do not talk to your friend about us while you are on your phone...we can hear you...
10. Do not come out in your boxers with your junk hanggin out and tell us that your bed isn't turning on...we know you know how to turn the bed on...
11. Do not fart in your bed right before you get out and put the top down to keep it in for us to smell when we open the top...you're disgusting...
12. Do not Pee in the trash cans...you are gross for even putting that thing near your stuff anyways...

more to follow...